Sessions 1 and 2

Today I had my first 2 sessions of 40. I do 2 a day on Saturday's due to my work schedule. I have to admit I feel pretty good. Kinda tired. Kinda fascinated. I started noticing little things my brain does...some good, most bad...after the brain map session. When someone tells you that you unconsciously do something most people would try to notice when those things happen....or maybe that's just me.

 

So, the sessions... Dr. Carlton had suggested I watch motivational or educational videos for the 30 minute sessions. He said that's what he had done..."why not get an added benefit, your already sitting there." He picked out the first video for me to watch. He picked the Secret. I have seen it before and read the book and liked it so I went with it. The nurse explained how things work....they put sensors on your earlobes and above your ears. She said all I had to do was watch tv, while wearing headphones. That's it. While I'm watching the video, she said the screen will become lighter and darker and the volume will go up and down...all depending on what my brain is doing. 

At first, it was like one of those ghost movies where the lights flicker off and on constantly.  That's exactly what happened. The tv went crazy. The longer I watched the more I could feel my thoughts drifting from the Secret and onto so many things. The change in the brightness or sound would bring it back to normal. At least that's my guess as to what was happening. Even thinking about the concepts being talked about on the screen made the screen change. Usually u would try to control what or how long I think about, but I just watched the tv. 

Then I had to wait an hour before doing my second session. We picked up where the video had stopped and I noticed longer periods of a dim screen or low volume before I was pulled back. I dont know what that means, but that's what happened. 

The best part was I felt calmer. Not so on edge. I felt better...after 2 sessions. I know the results may not be as rapid as I would like, but I'll take any moments of peace I get. 

I was put to a big test later that day...the mall. Dunn Dunn dunnnnnnnnn!!!!! Usually as soon as my wife and I walk in my anxiety tells me to leave and that I'm going to be sick. Today though...I made it through Victoria's Secret, Forever 21, and H&M with no thought of my anxiety. I mentioned it my wife and she said she noticed it too but didnt want to say anything to draw my attention to any anxiety. I was fine until we ordered food. I have this thing about food and eating. I have become unable to eat at a restaurant without feeling sick for years. I'll take the victory of the mall for now