Session 7 and 8

Session 7 and 8 were much the same. Dimming a decreasing volume, but it didn't bother me as much as previous visits. I was able to focus on the show (Moesha again). I have noticed the ability to focus a little more. 

The biggest change so far is my temper. I'm able to control my anger more and more. I'm not snapping at people as much. I'm able to take 10 seconds, as Lucinda suggests in From Panic to Power, to calm myself. Its weird for me because I have never been an angry person. I have always had a bad temper but I tried very hard not to let it take over. Lately, the wasn't the case. I haven't always been nice or remained calm during situations. My wife noticed the beginning of a change in my behavior, though she may never admit she acknowledged this particular change. 

I feel more calm and have been making more of an effort to calm my mind and my spirit. I refuse to let certain situations and people take me out of my normal calm, easy going character. Watching motivational videos and reading different perspectives on this thing called life is really being absorbed this time around. 

I took a short video of what happens on the screen during my sessions. The effect isn't as dramatic but you get the point. I asked the nurse lady that hooks me up to the wires what the objective was? Is the screen suppose to remain clearer for longer? She didn't know lol.... 6 more Saturdays and I talk to Dr. Carlton again...I can ask then. 

Sessions 5 and 6

Sessions 5 and 6 were much like 3 and 4. The tv dimmed a lot, for seemingly long periods...think seconds. I think the combo of the training and the motivational videos is helping. I have a more positive outlook on life. I dont dread or constantly obsess about work. I have been more introspective and have been having, what Oprah calls "Ah Ha" moments.

With a clearer head my thoughts aren't so negative. I'm beginning to be able to make decisions. I refuse to let things stress me to the point that I get sick. I'm even handling the stress from work better. It's like I'm developing an attitude of guarding my bliss. 

Bliss is one topic covered in Finding Joe. It's basically your happy place filled with positivity.

Finding Joe

The tv still dimmed a lot. I watched more of Finding Joe during session 5. For session 6, however, they didnt have that movie in the room I was in so I picked something from Netflix. I picked Moesha lol. I forgot how funny that show was. I laughed the whole episode. I noticed the tv and sound did their thing but I wasn't as focused on them.

I finally had the motivation to do some research on what I'm doing to myself...

Some of the interesting things I have learned are...

"Neurofeedback is based on the premise that patients, guided by providers, can retrain their brains to operate more effectively by changing the pattern of the brain’s electrical activity, otherwise known as brain waves. It is brain waves that determine our state of consciousness, arousal and ability to control our bodies and our minds. If they are being produced at an optimum level, then our ability to think, feel and function well is assured. But if these waves are too fast, too slow or not produced appropriately in particular sections of the brain, neurofeedback can be used to retrain the brain to address these issues."

"Neurofeedback uses electroencephalogram (EEG) to measure and optimise your brain activity"

"During the session, you will watch a movie on a computer monitor or engage in a computer game. Every time the selected brain regions exhibit EEG anomalies, the movie/game will stop." In this case I'm watching videos that dim and the volume lowers instead of stopping.

"However, the brain very quickly and gradually will learn to change its electrical activity in order to reduce the interruptions in movie/game reproduction and obtain a smoother perceptual experience.
In other words, session after session, by learning how to make the movie/game play more and more smoothly, your brain can learn to recruit new resources, eventually cancelling specific functional anomalies and ultimately reducing the associated behavioural disturbances."

So, yeah...now I understand. I have to understand something or I cant stop focusing on it. Maybe now I can just let my brain fix itself with out me trying to control something I can't mentally control.